Monday, February 25, 2008

Oscar Night Roundup

What a night, what a night. The beautiful Marion! The effortless Daniel Day! The I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley although I find you unconventionally handsome Javier! The manish, why don't you wear any make-up don't you realize it's the Oscar's slash don't get me started on the garbage sac of a dress Tilda! The your dress slit is way too high but I forgive you because at one point in your life you were an exotic dancer so you probably don't know any better Diablo! And of course, my jump up and down moment, the melodic but still man! she's only 19 and your what? 42? so I don't believe your romantic relationship is age appropriate I don't care how mature she appears Glen and Marketa! I think for the first time ever I actually felt the Academy got it right all around. Well, almost. No Country for Old Men, the big winner, I could have done without. I was a Michael Clayton fan going in. I knew it had no chance of winning but I still dared to dream. The same dream I imagined the Crash peeps felt two years ago when they pulled an upset.

Either way, I was very satisfied.TWSS. Jon Stewart was funny in a non-I'm the star of the show kind of way, (Chris Rock I'm looking at YOU!). I think he gained some extra cool points when he let Marketa come back to finish her speech. Classy. Classy.

Now that the great parts are out of the way, let's talk negatively now, shall we? Where the EF! was Brad Renfro in the "In Memorium" montage? They had like 8 agents and studio execs up there but no Brad? That was wrong. And along the same lines of zero or little recognition, who decides who gets to sit in the front row? I noticed Forrest Whittaker and his wife was front and center while Marion Cotillard languished with a side view? Come to think of it, Daniel Day also had a sideish view too. Serious faux paux. Forrest, your year was last year, friendo. Same thing, Helen. May I remind you that currently your starring in National Treasure 2. In my opinion all lead actor and actresses should get front and center. It's only fair, right? And Jack, while you're a legend a.) Your future isn't that bright, your past was, so take off the shades and b.) Did you really drag your ass out to introduce a montage of past Oscar winning films? I thought you were more awesome than that.

Finally, who invited Gary Busey? Did you see how he accosted Jennifer Garner on the red carpet? That was some freaky sh&%. I thought he was playing a character on Entourage, but now...not so sure. Additional random invitees include, Seal and Heidi Klum, tax-evader Wesley Snipes, Spike Lee, and Mylie Cyrus. Mylie, honey, stop posting random pics of yourself taken with your iPhone on the internets. It's disturbing. Geez...where are all the real hollywood starlets when you need them. Oh yeah, rehab.

What about you? What did you like and not like? Comment below.





And here is the rest of it.

2 comments:

Rita said...

The best things were Jennifer Garner's dress and Katherine Higl's dress. I could have skipped the other 5 hours.

Monique said...

Ha!